Warriors Parody: Sciger's Style!
by Sciger
Summary: My first attempt at a Warriors parody. x3 It's not that funny but it was fun to write. Read at your own risk of IQ points! Expect more 'chapters' Idea of mentos-soda bombs in first 'Chapter' from goofing off on the COTC CG boards too much on Neopets. :3
1. Sandstorm's Pop Rocks

((WARNING! This fanfiction parody involves pop rocks, mentos and soda, and craziness! You've been warrrrned! :3 This is set with the cats being in The Darkest Hour. And I know it doesn't take that long for mentos to react with soda, I don't care. D: ))

The breeze blew gently through the trees of the ThunderClan forest territory, causing the leaves to rattle against one another. The sun shone it's gentle rays down onto the well-protected camp where the cats were enjoying themselves. Though brave, noble and compassionate, this Clan does have it's secrets…

"Where are my pop rocks!?" Shrieked a furious pale ginger she-cat with green eyes as she dashed about the camp, fur bristled to nearly twice her size.

"I don't caaaare, Sandstorm…quite making a racket so I can sleep." Yawned a fluffy white tom with blue eyes as he lay in a patch of sunlight, lazily sprawled about.

"But I want themmmmm!" Whined the she-cat again as she leaped into the air and flailed all her limbs as hard as she could. She repeated this several times before bounding over to Cloudtail and landing on him, bouncing on him. "Pop! Rocks! Pop! Rock!" She screeched with each bounce.

"OW! Get off!" Cloudtail yowled and shoved her away. Then, the two cats' attention turned to a bottle of Dr. Pepper as it rolled into the clearing.

"Mentos bomb!" Squealed two young male voices as the bottle exploded, sending soda flying everywhere from the reacting mentos and soda. Cloudtail and Sandstorm yowled in surprise as they were soaked with the sticky liquid, their fur blown off to the side and sticking that way.

Two apprentices yowled with laughter as they rolled out of the apprentices den, the apprentices being Ashpaw and Bramblepaw.

"You are are so DEAD!" Shrieked Sandstorm as she tore over towards them, yowling her rage. The apprentices took one look at each other, screeched loudly and then tore away towards the tunnel with Sandstorm in hot pursuit, ranting every mouselength of the way.

"What's she upset about?" Yawned a flame-colored tom with green eyes, Firestar, as he strolled out of the leader's den.

"Something about pop rocks, mentos and soda." Replied his gray-colored deputy, Graystripe, as they watched the scene. Bramblepaw and Ashpaw both split up and left Sandstorm in the dust, confused and not sure which way to go. Then, she threw back her head and released a loud, high-pitched, ear-piercing wail. Every cat from there to Fourtrees could hear the yowl but those close enough would be writhing in pain, wanting it to stop. Which is exactly what happened.

"Sandstorm, stop!" Wailed a nearby cat, Dustpelt, as he writhed in pain and paws covering his ears. There were many yowls of pain and anguish as Sandstorm kept yowling, jaws parted wide.

"Try and stop her before we all end up as deaf as One-eye!" Graystripe called to Firestar, who had his paws covering his ears as well.

"What!?" Firestar yowled back, tilting his head to one side. Graystripe took in a deep breath and tried again but, once more, Firestar couldn't hear a word he was saying. Graystripe, now exasperated, pointed at Firestar with his tail then at Sandstorm, motioning for him to go and talk to her. Finally, Firestar numbly nodded and pushed his way over to her, front paws still covering his ears.

"Sandstorm!" He yowled and Sandstorm barely opened one green eye, still yowling. "I'll get you more pop rocks if you stop!" He screeched as loud as he could and the she-cat stopped, sniffling.

"O-okay." She whimpered and Firestar sighed with relief, sitting up and the rest of the Clan releasing their own sighs. She buried her head into his chest fur and he grimaced at feeling the sticky liquid seep into his fur. "But…mind cleaning yourself off?" He grunted.

"EEP! I'm filthy! Just wait until I get my paws onto those stupid apprentices and I'll..." Firestar hardly listened to Sandstorm's rant as she groomed her fur and silently snuck away from her and back to Graystripe, who rolled his yellow eyes. Each knew what the other was thinking.

'She-cats!'

((My first attempt at a parody! XDDD A very weak one but it was fun to type.))


	2. A Moonless, Sleepless Night

((You'll have this next parody's song stuck in your head for hours. Read at your own risk. ;D ))

The sun's warm rays were no more as it had set long ago to allow the night to take it's shift and darkness to cover the forest. The moon was not watching over the earth below and providing light for the cats that lived there. That would be one of ThunderClan's problems that fateful night.

"It's the song that never ends! It just goes on and on, my friends…" The horrible yowling came from near the elder's den as a long haired, dark tabby tom with healed wounds over his eyes sat off to the side of the clearing and sang the repeating song, over and over again. His tail was bent in the middle, which was one of the reasons that he had the warrior name, Brokentail.

"What in StarClan…?" Hissed a blue-gray she-cat as she tried to sleep in the leader's den. She leaped to her paws and bounded out of her den, trying to spot the problem.

"What is going /on!?/" Grumbled another dark tabby as he stalked out of the warrior's den, a scar splitting the fur on his nose and a deep V in his ear, amber eyes smoldering with annoyance. Several other warriors padded out as well, wondering what was going on.

"No one's gonna sleep tonight!" Cackled the old, blind tom as he continued singing the lyrics. "Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll keep singing it forever just because this is the song that…" The tom began once more with the cycling lyrics, causing moans of annoyance.

"He did this last moon!" complained Mousefur as she stretched her jaws open in a huge yawn.

"I want my pop rocks!" pouted Sandstorm as she padded out of the warriors den. However, she was about run over by a flash of fluffy gray fur as a young she-cat with an odd gait screamed past her, yowling something about purple rabbits and yellow squirrels.

"What's Cinderpelt doing?!" questioned Longtail as he stared at the medicine cat apprentice, eyes wide.

"She got into the catmint supply," Yellowfang rasped as she watched her apprentice run in circles. "She ate enough to cure five cats with greencough." She hissed grumpily as the apprentice continued running about, laughing like an insane cat.

"Five cats!? Will it make her sick?" Fireheart asked, watching his former apprentice helplessly as she ran about.

"Most likely not. She will only be like this until sunrise." Yellowfang replied dryly and all the cats moaned. Hardly any of them had noticed that Brokentail was still singing.

"Pay attention to me!" Brokentail finally hissed, annoyed that they had stopped paying attention to him. Promptly, all the cats turned their attention to Brokentail and he began again. "Just because this is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on, my friends…" He sang once more, causing most cats to cringe in annoyance.

"I wanna be leader," growled Tigerclaw as he scraped his long front claws along the surface of the ground. "Make me leader!" He demanded as he stalked over to Bluestar, eyes blazing.

"You can't be leader. Because /I'm/ leader." Bluestar meowed proudly.

"No, I'm leader! I'll become leader once Bluestar dies! Oops…that was a spoiler…" Fireheart covered his mouth with a paw, gaze shifting about.

"No, /I/ want to be leader!" complained Willowpelt as she leaped to her paws.

"No, I do!"

"No way, you'd do horribly! Me, me!"

Challenging yowls rang across the ThunderClan camp as the cats argued with one another as to who wanted to be leader.

"Stop, the lot of you!" Bluestar hissed at the cats and they all froze. "We're going by the book line. Tigerclaw, attack me." She ordered and the dark tabby whimpered.

"B…but you'll get hurt." He whispered.

"We're going by the book line now attack me." Bluestar replied firmly. Pouting, Tigerclaw threw himself at her and Fireheart tackled Tigerclaw, pressing his muzzle into the dirt.

"Good boy. Now you can have a cookie!" Bluestar squealed and sat back on her hind legs, clapping her paws together.

"Yay!" Tigerclaw threw Fireheart off and stared at Bluestar, wanting a cookie.

"Eaaaaasy boy…steady…" Bluestar put the cookie on Tigerclaw's nose. The tom stared cross-eyed at the cookie, being frozen stiff.

"Get it!" Bluestar hissed and Tigerclaw tossed the cookie up, catching it in his mouth and devouring it like a dog.

"Goood boooooy…" Bluestar giggled and rubbed Tigerclaw's stomach with a front paw as he stretched out all his limbs, purring hard.

"Huh." Graystripe watched Tigerclaw in silence, blinking his yellow eyes.

"Who knew that Tigerclaw was Bluestar's kittypet." commented Dustpelt as he watched.

"Pay attention to me!" Wailed Brokentail as he started singing once more upon realizing that they were ignoring him again by other events in the camp.

"Someone make him shut up!" Swiftpaw growled as he emerged from the apprentices den with all the other apprentices.

"Yeah, I've got dawn patrol and I wanna sleep!" whined Brackenpaw as he yawned.

"Lazy bones." Cloudpaw prodded Brackenpaw, who squeaked.

"It's not my fault that my mentor's sneaking off to see that one pretty silver she-cat at night! Oops…another semi-spoiler…" Brackenpaw received glared from the other cats and covered his mouth with his paw.

"But yeah, do shut him up." Whitestorm put in and several other cats agreed.

"I know how." Yellowfang volunteered herself for the task of silencing Brokentail.

"Then do it." Bluestar ordered and Yellowfang dipped her head. The old gray she-cat padded over to Brokentail and poked him.

"What do you want? I'm busy singing!" Brokentail hissed, annoyed that his song was interrupted.

"Eat these. They'll make you beautiful." Yellowfang pushed several red berries at his paws.

"Yay! I wanna be beautiful!" Brokentail squealed and gulped the berries down. "When will it work!?" He asked excitedly.

"In three…two…one…" Yellowfang murmured under her breath and Brokentail suddenly gasped. Then he gagged. Then he flopped over, frozen. Then he twitched, staring up at the sky with wide eyes, breathing heavily.

"Goodbye cruel world! Yellowfang just killed meeeeeee!" Brokentail wailed before going lip, eyes cross-eyed and tongue lolling out of his mouth.

"Brokentail is dead! Yaaaay! Now I can sleep!" Brackenpaw squealed and dashed into the apprentice's den to sleep.

"What about me? Can I have another cookie?" Tigerclaw asked, eyes wide and teeth bared in a grin.

"No. You're exiled now for attacking me. And I'm gonna appoint Fireheart as deputy late." Bluestar replied and Tigerclaw slinked out of camp, pouting.

"Yay! I'm gonna be appointed late!" Fireheart squealed and chased his tail.

"Uh, Fireheart. That's bad." Graystripe pointed out and Fireheart froze in mid-chase and collapsed, pouting.

"I still want my pop rooooocks!" Sandstorm sang out as she was shoved into the warrior's den. Finally, all the rest of the cats ran into their dens and snoring sounds came from all the dens.

Only Cinderpelt was left outside of the dens that dark night. She was in the middle of the clearing, sleeping on her back with a paw in her mouth, mumbling something about purple yarrow leaves attacking her blue mice.


End file.
